


Our Gentle Sin

by the_duck_bride



Category: the GazettE
Genre: AU, Angst, High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 21:57:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5718553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_duck_bride/pseuds/the_duck_bride
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t understand...why are we different? Why don’t they treat us the same as everyone else?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Gentle Sin

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based of both the lyrics and the music video for the song Take Me To Church by Hozier. But obviously I put my own spin on things.
> 
> I want to start off by saying that I am not religious, nor have I ever been and I have also never been to church. So please forgive me if there are inaccuracies.
> 
> Secondly, I want to say that this fic was NOT meant to put shame to Christians and Christianity. I have no problem with another person's faith as long as they do not use it as a weapon against other and as long as it's not shoved in my face. I will always be nice and accepting with anyone unless you give me a reason not to be. But I was only using the church because I know that it is the main factor behind why marriage quality has not been pushed.
> 
> For the quotes, I just wanted to put something that would make in impact in there to break up the time skip things. And they're all from the New Testiment except for the last quote because I know that some people get uppy and offended when I say something that relates to the Old Testiment and they try to defend it. So those quotes are kinda there to say that as well, the New Testiment hasn't changed it's views on homosexuality.
> 
> As you can probably guess this is an issue that I'm really passionate about. I just kind of wanted to write a fic that left a big impact and I really hope this had achieved my goal.

“...and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.” (Romans 1:27)

Every single time Sunday rolled around Akira would feel sickness twisting his gut and he wouldn’t want to crawl out of the comfort of his bed. But he knew that if he stopped going his family would most likely kick him out. However, if they knew otherwise they would be even more furious. They would curse him, call him unholy, an abomination, a disgust, vermin. He’d heard it often enough. Not directly aimed at him, but preached countless amounts of times. Every Sunday, in fact. It was drilled into his mind and everyone else who entered the building. They would sit for what felt like years and have their beliefs laid out in black and white. They were told what they could and could not eat. They were told how they should and should not act. They were told who they could and could not love... Church always made him sick.

Akira sat with his father, mother and elder brother in the third row back on the left hand side of the church. The priest stood at the front of the crowd, preaching as he usually did. Performing his service as only a truly devout Christian would and Akira really thought that he was going to puke. The time he spent at church was one of the worst he ever had to face and unfortunately Sundays were kind of a weekly occurrence. But when he sat on that wooden bench, pretending like he thrived off every word the priest said, he left like all eyes were on him, watching and assessing his every move. He felt like somehow they knew...like somehow, despite his sneaking around and his carefulness to always cover everything up and never say anything that could give him away, they knew his ‘dirty’ little secret.

Akira did notice however that the priest, who’s name he’d never even bothered to remember, had a new altar boy by his side. This was a kid Akira had never seen before and he wondered if tomorrow they’d be getting a new student at school. The guy looked around his age. But that thought was really only a passing one. Even if the guy did end up going to his school it wouldn’t really make a difference. They would never talk, never interact. Because not interacting with anyone was just easier for Akira.

“...Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality...” (1 Corinthians 6:9)

Akira sat in the back of his first second year homeroom class of the year, absently staring out the window anticipating the moment the bell would ring so that he could disappear until six when his parents expected him home. The time between three and six was the only time he ever had to himself, just to be himself. How did he ever end up living such a fucked up existence? He hated to sound overly dramatic, but there wasn’t really any place he could find happiness. He felt like he was living a lie...but he knew that if he were to really be himself he would be hated by everyone around him. Akira just felt...empty.

Akira looked up when his teacher entered the room, followed by a boy who had his head cast down to the ground, his dirty blond coloured hair shielding his face from view like a wavy shoulder length curtain. Akira narrowed his eyes, sitting up a little bit when the teacher introduced him as Takanori, their new student who’d just transferred from Hokkaido. Takanori...he was the new altar boy from yesterday. Huh...so Akira had been right. Well, Takanori certainly didn’t look like an altar boy without his white robes on.

The bleached blond student could see his teacher’s eyes scanning over the room of students until they landed on Akira. The woman called out to him, gesturing to Takanori. “Suzuki, you can be in charge of making sure Takanori fits in and finds his way around the school. You’re responsible for him this week.” She didn’t give him any chance to reply before she told Takanori to sit in the empty seat next to Akira and the silent teenager watched as Takanori walked his way, easing down into the seat beside him as if he thought that Akira might lash out and bite him or something. Akira merely rolled his eyes and went back to staring out the window.

“...For this reason God gave them up to dishonourable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature...” (Romans 1:26)

Akira didn’t talk to Takanori at all for the first two days they were forced together. But Takanori followed him everywhere, always tagging along behind him when he moved from class to class and sitting next to him at lunch, silently picking at his shitty looking bento while Akira picked at his own perfectly made one. He wondered why Takanori hadn’t made any move to try and communicate with him. As far as he would tell, on the surface there wasn’t anything wrong with him. So why?

Eventually he just figured that there wouldn’t be any harm in making maybe just...one friend. Though he wasn’t sure what he would do if that idea backfired on him horribly. But he was always so lonely and his parents always questioned why he never made any friends; Akira didn’t want his parents to start getting suspicious so he thought that making a friend might get them off his back. Besides, if he was careful with what he said there would be no way for Takanori to know about his secret.

“So...uh...Hokkaido, huh?” Akira said, feeling like the most awkward human being on earth. It’d been so long since he’d really had any kind of decent human interaction with anyone but his parents. Even his own brother didn’t really speak to him much. “That’s...a pretty long way to move.”

Takanori’s head snapped up and Akira wasn’t surprised to see that look of shock on his soft features. “You’re...you’re talking to me?” Takanori stuttered, his voice being surprisingly deep and raspy for such a little guy.

The corner of Akira’s lips pulled up in the tiniest of smiles. “Ah, he speaks after all.”

Takanori mirrored Akira’s almost smile with one of his own. “I was starting to think that you didn’t talk either. Or you just didn’t like me for some reason.”

Akira merely shrugged. It’s not that he didn’t like Takanori; he just didn’t want to get close to anyone because that could turn out to be an utter disaster. “Want to swap lunches?” He offered, looking down at Takanori’s shitty little rice balls to his own bento made by his mother this morning and then back up at Takanori. The dirty blond teenager blinked at him a few times before nodding and taking the offered bento, pushing his own in front of Akira who soon discovered that the food tasted just as bad as it looked.

“...just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire...” (Jude 1:7)

Akira and Takanori continued to speak over the next three months, becoming rather close friends. Akira enjoyed actually having someone to spend his days with and sometimes he even went to stay at Takanori’s house and Takanori came to stay at his. His family also seemed rather relieved. He knew his mother had worried about not having any friends but she seemed happy that he had even one.

But the only thing Akira hadn’t counted on was the feelings he would come to harbour for his dirty blond classmate. Takanori was...marvellous. He was absolutely gorgeous with his silky looking wavy hair, his adorably curious brown eyes, his lean figure, his petite height and his feisty little personality. It turned out that he and Akira had more in common than the bleached blond had ever thought. They shared a common love for music and horror movies. Akira came to strongly admire Takanori drawing skills and Takanori always told him how handy he was. Any time Takanori needed Akira to fix anything or do anything overly manual Akira was there in the blink of an eye. But Akira knew that his feelings could never, ever progress. So he had to suffer in silence.

One day, after around four months of being friends Akira and Takanori walked towards the front gates of the school as they usually did which is where they would say their goodbye until the next day. But today was different. This was something Akira had been thinking about for a little while. He knew Takanori was always curious about where he went in the afternoons, seeing as he knew that Akira always walked away in the opposite direction of his house. And Akira was going to show Takanori why.

“Hey, Taka,” Akira started, feeling a little awkward. No one had ever gone to his secret place. But he trusted Takanori that much, plus for some reason he just wanted Takanori to see that part of him. “Um...do you want to come with me this afternoon? I can show you where I hang out.” He tried to make it sound a little more casual. Takanori looked a little taken aback, but he smiled and nodded, silently following along behind Akira.

After around twenty minutes of walking, Akira led Takanori through a canopy of vines and onto the grassy bank of a lake. Seeing as they lived in a town in the country about two hours out of Osaka there was a fair amount of forest around them, hence it was pretty easy for Akira to find a lovely quiet spot like this one. He led Takanori up a little hill and to the log where he always chose to just sit and relax. The lake was large and beautiful, the surface glistening in the pale afternoon sun, looking like it was actually crafted out of millions of little diamond. When the sun hit it just right Akira could see the giant orb of light sinking below the horizon reflected in its surface. It was one of his favourite things in the world.

Akira dumped his bag on the ground and hopped up onto the large fallen log. It was large enough that he could scoot back and pull his legs up underneath him while still having some room behind it. It must’ve been a monstrously large tree. Takanori followed suit, clambering up onto the tree and sitting next to Akira, looking out over the lake. “This place is beautiful,” he mused after a few moments of just observing. Akira looked at Takanori out of the corner of his eye and he thought that the dirty blond really was the most beautiful little being he’d ever seen. It made him sad that nothing could ever become of them.

“Yeah, I always love coming here. Being at home gets kind of full on sometimes so I always come here after school to just wind down a bit before I go home,” Akira explained. Though he didn’t even consider telling Takanori exactly why being at home bothered him. That’d be crazy.

The two students sat in silence for a while, just admiring the way the sun was beginning to set. It was a sight both of them could really appreciate seeing as they were both rather fond of picturesque scenery. But then Takanori sighed and dropped his head, turning it to Akira slowly. The bleached blond teenager caught the movement from the corner of his eye and turned to face Takanori curiously tilting his head to the side in a silent question.

“Akira...I have to tell you something,” Takanori announced, rather surprising Akira who didn’t really know what to do other than nod, encouraging Takanori to go on. “I...um...when I came to stay over at your house last time I...I found your magazines.”

Akira frowned a little. Magazines...what magazines? Akira didn’t read- The bleached blond’s eyes shot open and he just about leapt ten feet in the air...at least that’s what it felt like anyway. Takanori...Takanori had found his porn magazines. His only friend was going to hate him now. Akira could feel tears welling in the corners of his eyes. “Takanori...I-I’m so sorry. I couldn’t tell you, there was no way that I could. I know that you’ll hate me forever now. I know that I’m disgusting and an abomination. Just please...please don’t tell anyone. I don’t know what I’d-”

Akira’s pointless and rather hysterical rambling was cut off by a pair of plush lips landing on his. The bleached blond was taken completely by surprise and he sat there for a moment with his eyes so wide he thought they might just about fall out of his skull. But then he registered it. Takanori...Takanori was kissing him. Takanori wasn’t disgusted, he wasn’t running away screaming about how much of an abomination Akira was. Did this...did this mean that Takanori was like him? Akira didn’t care right then because Takanori was kissing him and even if it was just some kind of cruel joke Akira was going to enjoy it before his world began to crumble. Settling down again he reached out and snaked his arms around Takanori’s thin little waist and pulled him forwards until he was resting snugly on Akira’s lap. He pressed his lips back against Takanori’s eagerly, basking in the sweetness of his very first kiss.

After a few moments Takanori drew back, keeping his hands firmly placed on Akira’s shoulders with his breath coming a little shorter than usual. Akira’s heart was thumping in his chest like it wanted to break out of his ribcage. Takanori was smiling at him with a knowing smile on his cute face. “Taka...” Akira breathed. “Please tell me that you aren’t joking.”

The dirty blond scoffed and shook his head, leaning in to peck Akira on the lips once more. “I’m not joking, I promise. You know, I was looking for a chance to do this and when you brought me here you basically handed me the opportunity with a little gold bow on top.” Takanori chuckled, tucking his face into the crook of Akira’s neck and kissing it gently. “I really, really like you Akira.”

Akira felt like the happiest guy in the happiest guy in the entire world. This was unbelievable. Takanori liked boys...Takanori liked him. The smile that spread across Akira’s face was probably the biggest one he’d flashed since he figured out his preferences. He was so happy. “I like you too, Taka. So much. Be my boyfriend?” Akira felt Takanori nodding and he hugged the smaller teen tightly against him, feeling like he could melt with how happy he was. “Wait...Taka, you’re a fucking altar boy!”

Takanori just giggled and shrugged.

“...the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine...” (1 Timothy 1:10)

So the log at the lake became their place. It was the only place Akira and Takanori could go to be alone and just be who they really were. Now Akira cherished that time more than he ever did. Of course they never ever told anyone about them, there was no way they could without asking to be shunned. They still stayed over at each other’s houses some weekends and had study afternoons when necessary. But after the lights went out, not they would crawl into the same bed and spend some time just enjoying each other’s touch before they had to move back to their previous sleeping arrangements.

Another four months later; eight months since they’d met and four months since they’d declared their feelings for each other, Takanori and Akira were relaxing on their log, Takanori with his head lying on Akira’s lap while the bleached blond teen played with Takanori silky smooth locks. He loved playing with Takanori’s hair. It was the softest thing he’d ever felt and its length was absolutely perfect, the waves of hair framing Takanori’s face perfectly. Takanori really was the most beautiful person he’d ever laid eyes on and he made sure to remind him of that constantly.

Slowly though, Akira slid out from underneath Takanori’s head to shuffle around and reposition himself over the smaller teen. With his hands resting on either side of Takanori’s head and his knees over the smaller’s hips, Akira stared down at Takanori with an intense gaze. Though, the smaller blond just quirked a brow at him and lifted his hands up to thread them around the back of Akira’s neck and pull him down. It all just kind of happened naturally without words. Takanori wound up without any of his clothes on, Akira soon following suit.

With the both of them completely naked they spent a good amount of time just worshipping one another’s bodies. Takanori was the sweetest most attractive boy Akira had ever met and he wanted to make sure he did this right. He pulled out a small tube of lubricant and a condom and he could only laugh and shrug his shoulders when Takanori asked if he’d planned this.

The sight of Takanori writhing beneath him as Akira pressed his digits into Takanori had the taller blond on edge already. Takanori was so elegant and graceful yet completely alluring and sexy at the same time. When he declared that he was ready, Akira pulled forth the condom only to have Takanori put a hand over his. “No. I want to feel you...all of you.” And those words were enough to have Akira tossing the condom away and pressed forwards into Takanori’s supple little body. He made perfectly sure that his little boyfriend was completely comfortable before he began any kind of rhythm. And now that they were connected so intimately like this Akira could feel the emotions surging through him.

Since they were new to all of this, neither of the boys lasted very long and Takanori sighed breathily at Akira’s hot release inside him. Akira pressed his body down against Takanori’s semen covered belly and just rested his face in the crook of the littler teen’s neck. Takanori comfortingly ran his lithe artist fingers through Akira’s hair, cradling him. “Aki...I love you.”

Akira kissed along Takanori’s shoulder, knowing that he couldn’t possibly feel any happier than he did in that exact moment. “I love you too, Taka.”

“...But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulphur, which is the second death...” (Revelation 21:8)

Many more months passed. Takanori and Akira indulged in each other every day, loving nothing more than spending as much time as they could with one another. Akira didn’t think he’d ever been as close to anyone as he was with Takanori. He loved the little blond with all of heart and he knew Takanori felt exactly the same. They passed into the their third and final year of high school together and they often talked about how, as soon as they finished school they were going to move away. Move to Tokyo together and live in a little apartment together. They both knew it was going to be hard; living together fresh out of high school and knowing nothing about the big bad world. But they knew it was the only way they could be happy. They would even be happy living on the streets in Tokyo as long as they were able to together openly. The closed mindedness of their Catholic school and their church was wearing thin on both of them. The constant hate that was preached at them made them feel like aliens in their own body.

They were by the lake once again, almost thirteen months after they’d first confessed to one another in that exact spot. They’d celebrated their one year anniversary by the lake. Akira had set up a wonderful little picnic for them with candles and Takanori’s favourite desert and then they’d made love under the stars. It was the most magical night of their entire lives.

But on this particular day, the pressure of school and the church was getting to Takanori. So Akira held him, pressing him closely to his chest and gently stroking the little blond’s hair away from his pretty face, occasionally placing little kissed over his temple and forehead. “I just don’t get it, Aki,” Takanori started, picked at Akira’s collar a little bit as he sat straddling the taller blond’s lap. “I don’t understand...why are we different? Why don’t they treat us the same as everyone else?”

Akira sighed. It was a conversation they’d had many a time. “I don’t know, Taka. It doesn’t make sense to me either. We’re just as in love as any of them. In fact, I think I love more than anyone could ever love another person. You’re my entire world. But I guess they just can’t look passed the fact that we both have dicks,” he looked out over the lake before returning his gaze to Takanori’s downturned lips. “Hey, it’s gonna be ok. We’ll be out of here in three months. Just think about it, baby. Three months and we’ll be in Tokyo together and we’ll get to hold hands whenever we want, we’ll get to kiss in public, I’ll get to have you whenever the hell I want. Just think about that, baby.” Akira leaned in and tenderly kissed along Takanori’s shoulder, up his neck to the base of his pierced ear.

“I know...” he said, still sounding dejected. “But you heard them. We were born sick. We’re not like other people. We won’t ever go to heaven. We’re different, because of that they’d hate us if they knew.”

Akira nodded, letting go of Takanori’s hips to reach up and brush the hair back from his beautiful boyfriend’s face. “Yeah...We were born sick, but I love it,” he said. He always tried to be as reassuring as possible to Takanori. Unlike him Takanori tended to place a lot of value on what other people thought and said. Being shunned for their sexuality hit Takanori a lot harder than it did Akira. “Besides, the only heaven I want is being alone with you.” He tenderly cupped Takanori’s cheeks and kissed him deeply, pouring all of his feelings into the blissful contact. “I love you, Taka.”

“I love you too, Aki.”

“If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.” (Leviticus 20:13)

One week. One week and he and Takanori would be graduating from all of it. They’d both been saving up for almost a year now and together they’d had enough money to put their name to a little tiny box of an apartment in Tokyo. They had bus tickets for an hour after their graduation and they’d packed everything they’d need and hidden their bags in their closets. Akira was absolutely ecstatic. He was actually leaving; he was getting away with the man he loved more than anything in the entire world. And he was currently sitting at his desk writing a fairly lengthy letting to his parents and his brother.

Dear Mum, Dad and Yuu,

I’m sorry to tell you that I have left. I just cannot stay here any long; I can’t bear not being able to truly be myself. I always feel like I’m being suffocated, I always have. The truth is, I’m gay. I can say that now. I am a proudly gay man but I know that if I stay here I will be yelled at and called an abomination. I will be forced to undergo “treatment” by the church. But it’s not that simple. I was born this way. I can assure you that I am not ill. I have always known that I am gay, I’ve just never told you because I didn’t want to be a disappointment in your eyes. But I can’t be myself if I stay any longer.

You know my friend Takanori? He’s not just my friend. He’s my boyfriend and he has been for a year and four months now. I am in love with him. I love him more than anything in this entire universe, in fact, he is my universe and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We’re moving away together where we can be happy and not have to live in fear all the time. I’m sorry that I’ve had to tell you this way, but I really didn’t want to face your sheer disappointment in me. I’m sorry I’m not the perfect son or brother and I’m sorry that I’m corrupted in your eyes. But this is what makes me happy. Takanori makes me happy and I will do whatever I have to for him. Maybe one day we’ll meet again and you won’t hate me as much.

Your always loving son,

Akira

Akira placed the pen down and read over the note. It was actually going to be a little bit tough to leave his family like that, but he had to do it. He didn’t want to face the screaming and the yelling and the tears. Call him a coward, but he just didn’t want to see the moment his family fell apart. Plus, they’d be better off without him. If the town knew that one of their sons was gay the whole family would be heckled. So this was just for the best.

Akira was partway through reading the note for the second time when his phone buzzed. Thinking that maybe it was Takanori, they were meant to hang out tonight, he picked it up and checked the message. But the unknown number made him frown a bit. He slid his thumb across the screen and opened the message reading over it a few times before what it really said began to sink in and Akira felt his blood freeze in his veins.

Received at: 5:59pm  
We know. Prepare to lose it all at your most precious place.  
From: Unknown number

“Taka...”Akira whispered, feeling his heart in his throat. “TAKA!” He yelled again, even though it was totally hopeless because Takanori wouldn’t hear him from here. Akira was out his bedroom door in the blink of an eye, leaving the note he’d written behind and already feeling tears rising in his eyes. No...no this couldn’t be happening. He shot down the stairs, hearing his mother yell out and ask where he was going. But he couldn’t answer because he was already stumbling out the front door.

Akira’s well worn canvas shoes, a present from Takanori after their six month anniversary, slapped against the asphalt as he sprinted down the road at the speed of light, pushing himself on and on, not caring about the horrible burning in his lungs. He had to get there. Get to the lake. God, Akira prayed and prayed to a god that probably hated him that Takanori would be ok and that this was all just a huge sick joke. How could anyone possibly know about them? They’d always been careful and never told anyone. So how?

Tears burned at the corners of Akira’s eyes as he arrived at the edge of the forest. He didn’t hesitate, locating the trail he walked almost every single day with Takanori, Akira sprinted down the dirt path to his most precious place where he could just sense his most precious person was. At one point in time he happened to glance at the ground was he was running and see that the ground had been churned up a bit. Like...there had been a lot of feet walking over this usually mostly untouched dirt. And there were...track marks...like someone had been dragged through the dirt. Akira’s fear clutched him all over again and he pressed forwards, pumping his arms by his side and speeding through the trees.

Breaking through the waterfall of vines that concealed his and Takanori’s special place, Akira looked around frantically searching for his lover. “Taka!!” he called out, panting heavily. Was he even here? What was going on? Akira froze when he heard a soft groan. He listened closely, definitely hearing it again. Akira held his breath as he rushed up the little hill that lead to their log and as he rounded the little corner he could feel his blood running cold all over again.

There he was...Takanori. The tears that were already present in Akira’s eyes spilled the moment he saw his boyfriend. “TAKA!!” He screamed, rushing over and dropping down to the ground beside his love. Akira was having trouble sucking air into his lung because his throat was closing up, he was starting hyperventilate. “Taka...” He whispered, sliding his hand under his beautiful boyfriend’s torso to prop him up a bit, making sure to support his head. “God...Taka, please open your eyes,” he pleaded, hot tears rolling down his cheeks. Who had done this? Akira gazed down at the man he loved. He was beaten to a bloody pulp. Dirt and grime and blood marred his perfect skin. His clothes were torn and his face was already beginning to turn shades of black and blue underneath the blood that streaked across it, probably from the cut above his perfect eyebrow and the nasty scratches all over his beautiful face. Looking down, Akira saw that Takanori’s ankle was twisted at the funny angle.

The body in his arms twitched a little and Takanori slowly opened his eyes and stared up at Akira. The bleached blond teen let out the biggest sigh of relief, choking on his tears. “God Taka, baby, what happened?” He asked desperately. He had to know who did this so he could go and fucking kill them, beat them to the brink of death like they had with Takanori.

“I...don’t know,” Takanori stuttered out, his voice sounding gravelly, like it was hard for him to talk. The battered little blond scrunched his face up in pain and reopened his eyes, staring up at Akira rather pathetically, glistening tears gathering in his own eyes. “Aki...it hurts so much. They...they all just...came out of no...where.” Takanori was obviously having trouble getting his words out and that worried Akira a lot. “There were...so many. All...with cov...vered faces.”

Akira’s face scrunched in sorrowful agony, fresh tears never stopping their steady flow down his cheeks as he sobbed a few times. He slid his other hand underneath Takanori’s knees and went to pick him up. “Come on Taka. We have to get you out of here. We have to get you help, right now.”

“No...Aki.” Takanori’s voice stopped him and Akira stared down at him like he was completely nuts. Takanori just stared straight back, as well as he could with his drooping eyelids and that scared Akira to death. “Just...take me up...on the log. Please.”

Even in this state there was no way Akira could refuse anything Takanori asked for. Slowly and carefully Akira lifted Takanori up and set him down on the log. Climbing up, Akira slid his legs underneath Takanori’s shoulders and head to prop him up a bit. The bleached blond teenager choked back his violent sobs as best as he could, stroking the back of his hand over Takanori’s bloodies cheek. “Taka...please let me help you. Let’s go back to town and we can get you fixed up. Ok, baby? You’ll be ok.” Akira was feeling rather desperate. He didn’t know what to do and he refused to think that this was it. He couldn’t, there was just no way he could think like that. He wasn’t going to give up. But he saw Takanori’s eyelids starting to droop again and he leaned over the battered little being and cupped his cheeks. “No, Taka. Keep your eyes open. Keep looking at me, I’m right here, baby.”

Takanori did his best to pry his eyes open, the eyes that Akira loved so much. The ones that he’d looked into countless amounts of times and confessed his love over and over again. They were the eyes that would only look at him and no one else. They were so gorgeous. Takanori would stay awake for as long as he could, just for Akira.

“Come on Taka,” Akira growled through his tears, clutching at his boyfriend’s body. “Stay awake. Please...please,” he begged like it would actually help the situation. “You’re gonna be just fine. We’re leaving. In a week, Taka. We’re leaving this place and we’re gonna go to Tokyo and live in our apartment and we’re gonna be happy together.” Akira whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut, finding it almost impossible to breathe. He shut his eyes and leaned over Takanori. “You have to be ok. You can’t leave me, Taka...not here.” Akira kissed Takanori’s cheek, not giving a single fuck if he got blood or dirt in his mouth. “Please Taka...stay with me.”

“Aki...” Takanori’s ever weakening voice sounded next his ear and Akira pulled back enough to look into Takanori’s eyes and see that the light in those once lively orbs was slowly fading and he shook his head, tears dripping onto Takanori’s cheeks. “I love you, Akira Suzuki,” Takanori said, forcing a pained smile. “I love you...with all my heart. Aki...tell me...that you love me.”

“Taka...” Akira whispered, wide eyes never leaving Takanori’s face. “I love you. I love you, I love you, I fucking love you so much.” Akira saw the smile on Takanori’s face widen just the tiniest bit before his eyes started to drift shut. Akira watched in disbelief as Takanori slipped away before his eyes. “No...Taka. Takanori, open your eyes!” Akira urged, giving the little blond’s fragile body a little shake. Nothing. Akira choked, his breath getting stuck in his throat and the world seemed to stop moving altogether. He could only stare, mouth open in utter horror. And finally he gasped, leaning over Takanori once more. “No...no, no, no...Taka, please, no. Come back to me. Taka, don’t go!” Akira’s pleas turned to nothing because he couldn’t talk anymore. He started sobbing violently, his whole body shaking with the force of his crying. And then he started wailing, the blood-curdling sound becoming louder and louder as Akira rocked back and forth over Takanori’s body. Finally he snapped. He sat up and threw his head back, screaming to the sky. Screaming Takanori’s name until his throat was raw, until his head was pounding and his face was completely red, screaming until he couldn’t scream anymore. And then he dropped himself back down, resting his forehead against Takanori’s chest.

Akira was...broken. Takanori was now just a cold, lifeless body in his arms. The boy he’d fallen so deeply and utterly in love with, the one he’d wanted to spend the rest of his life with, his soul mate...was gone. Akira just could not fathom it. He wanted to wake up now. He wanted this hideous nightmare to end. He wanted to go back to school tomorrow and see his beautiful smiling Takanori. He wanted to leave school together and go to the lake where they would sit in each other’s arms and kiss and nuzzle each other affectionately. He wanted to graduate and run away with his love. But as the minutes ticked by and nothing happened but the continuous sobs leaving Akira’s abused throat the blond teenager knew that this was indeed the cruel, cruel truth. Takanori...was dead.

Akira raised his head, steely determination in his eyes. That was it. He was fucking sick of this. Sick of not being able to show who he was and display it to the world. He only wished he’d done it sooner and he absolutely hated himself for that. But he was going to make a fucking statement. He was going to show these people what monsters they were and then maybe they would think about what they’d done.

Sliding out from underneath Takanori, he picked up his boyfriend’s lifeless body and began walking. Akira walked back along the churned up trail through the forest and exited onto a stretch of road. He could see the way people were looking at him in utter horror as he walked through the streets of town. But he kept his gaze forward, ignoring the screams of some women as they saw the broken body in his arms. A few people trailed after him, obviously curious about what the hell he was doing. And he would fucking show them. He would show them all and he would relish in then sorrow they felt.

The church came into view at the end of the road and Akira felt a smile creeping onto his tear stained face. By now he’d gathered quite a crowed and he walked straight up the steps and into the church. There were a few people inside but he payed them no mind, even when they gasped in shock. That reaction was becoming rather tiresome by now. Akira moved up to the altar and carefully sat Takanori’s body down on the steps leading up to it. He could hear and see the people crowding the door, gazing on curiously. And that was exactly what he wanted; an audience.

Turning around, he faced everyone who was there, his chest heaving up and down and he felt like he might breakdown once again. But wouldn’t that just make it all the more dramatic? Akira scoffed humourlessly. “Are you people happy?” He started, feeling his voice croak and his throat hurt with every word he spoke. “This man on the floor here,” he pointed at Takanori, watching people glance to the body and then back at Akira. “This beautiful, delicate, precious little creature is the man I am in love with,” Akira announced, feeling the tears in his eyes once again and hearing the gasps amongst the crowd. “He is my entire world and I wanted to spend my life with him. But I can’t. And it’s all because of hateful people like you who can’t see that you don’t fall in love with a gender. You fall in love with a person. You are all ignorant and... you’ve killed him!” Akira shouted, screwing his face up in rage, feeling his body start to tremble. “My Takanori is dead, beaten to death because you can’t accept us! I held his body on my arms as he died. Imagine if that was you and the person you cherish most in this entire world. That’s what it was like.”

Akira paused, breathing heavily. Seeing the crowd looking rather horrified, some in tears even and he really hoped he was getting his message across. He looked at them all for a few more moments before he turned and grabbed something off the altar. Returning to Takanori’s body, he now completely ignored the crowd, knowing that he’d said all he wanted to, not matter how brief. He sat down beside Takanori’s body and gazed at the little blond’s lifeless face, feeling his stomach churning and twisting with gut wrenching sorrow. Shuffling a little closer, he pulled Takanori’s body onto its side. Pulling forth the knife that had been set on the altar to cut the bread at tomorrow’s service, Akira pressed the handle against Takanori’s chest and pulled him closer again until the sharp tip sat against Akira’s chest. When he was sure that the blade was balanced right, he let go and carefully slipped his other arm around Takanori. He heard the crowd gasp but he paid it not mind. He just gazed at Takanori’s face, furrowing his brow as he slowly started to pull his boyfriend closer. The knife dug into his flesh, piercing it and making Akira wince as blood instantly began to seep into his shirt, but he wasn’t going to stop. He heard someone in the crown yell, “Somebody stop him!”

But Akira shook his head. “Don’t fucking come near me!!” He screamed, only pulling Takanori harder against him until the pain was excruciating. He cried out in agony, slipping one hand a little further down Takanori’s waist to have better leverage, Akira took a deep breath and tugged...hard. The force of Takanori’s body hitting his, shoved the knife into Akira’s chest and he heard the crowd scream. The blond teenager was in too much pain to even register anything at all but Takanori’s face in front of his. He weakly cupped his perfect little being’s face and tilted it towards him. “Don’t worry...Taka.” Akira coughed, blood gargling from inside his throat and trickling down his chin. “I’ll...be there soon. I...love you.” Akira’s tired eyes slowly began to shut as he wound his arms protectively around Takanori’s lifeless body, and he felt the edges of what vision he had left blurring.

And then there was nothing but blissful black.


End file.
